I always strive for some for of control in my life but it’s a constantly loosing battle, in my excesses, all of those I cannot seem to shake I keep finding that the more I try to control the less I have. That’s the reason for my post the other day “Your reality is just delusion”. This isn’t clever or pretentious, just me struggling with the little things in my life that leave me weak and stressed out. I feel an anxiety tighten around my chest as though my heart were being compressed. Mundane issues that are in “my” control, my truth is that as I imagine I have control, I’m not, I’m just deluding myself.
I’m tired and cold, and I’m gonna get back into bed, I’ll finish this later.