Friday, 19 August 2011

Doha Continued

I believe in live and let live, and all the stuff that goes with that, and I do believe in respecting cultural differences, and I need to make that clear before I go on.

I’m in the waiting lounge and I need to go…. I mean GO!! And I’m looking for a bathroom, and eventually down a passage I find the Men’s Bathroom, I walk in, and step into 15millimeters of water, well if you can call it water, out the corner of my eye I see a bathroom attendant and his holding a squeegee pushing water around into a grate. This should have been a warning.
As a not too seasoned traveler all the warning signs did not alert me at all. I open a stall, there is no loo, I mean there is no bowl, just a hole in the floor, mmmmmm I’ll try the next, while sloshing in this “Water” nope, no bowl, next, no bowl, next Fuck there are no bowls at all, what now? Just how do you do this, I mean, I’m wearing trousers, just how do you drop trou’ in this place and pooh without poohing into your trousers???? I mean you have to stand, and you need your feet under you so just how do you do this, I look around, maybe I can hold myself up using my hands, I look around and damn, the walls are soaking wet, and I don’t want to touch that at all, and just where the hell does all this water come from?  If I lean against anything I’m going to get “water” on me and that’s not cool, if I drop my trousers, they are going to me laying in that “water” so that’s not an option at all. I now notice that there is no loo paper…. You just can’t freaking do this…. How am I going to wipe after this ordeal???? And in a sneaky worn chrome finish, there it is… teasing me that snake of a shower head, and I get it, I get the water, I get the squeegee, I get the no loo paper and I get that I’m going to have to find somewhere else to go, cause unless you are a Scot or and Arab, you are not going to be going anytime soon.
One last resort… I’m going to sneak into the handicapped bathroom and see if that’s any different, I open the door and there she is, the cleaner, and in a gesture shoos me out and literally stands in front of the entrance with a menacing look in her eyes that has me sulking off to find a bathroom…
That’s it the last resort, the business lounge, and I’m now in serious need, and nothing is going to stop me, well they certainly are till they have extorted 40 dollars from me, that has to be the most expensive shit I’ve ever taken.
Next time Im going to be ready, I just haven’t figured out how yet, but I’m going to be ready.

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