Monday, 6 February 2012

No dick car sound wannabe

There is something I want to get of my chest, it’s a common myth that the bigger or sportier car the smaller the man“hood” ok so there is probably a hint of jealousy, but hey fuck it, converting is part of what makes life move forward. If we didn’t want, there would be no need to supply and before you know it, it’s the end of the world as we know it, and who the hell wants that? Now all he hippies at the back sit down and put your damn shoes on, you would all have us in Toyota Prius’s, and that would be like candy without sugar.
Once again I have strayed from what I have on my chest, but it starts with being woken at 3am by some inconsiderate twat with his sound system turned up parked in the street across from me. Now lets get back to that whole car manhood thing, your car is a piece of crap, yet you deem it a great idea to throw thousands of your hard earned currency at it, and where do you decide to spend it?
Reconditioning of your engine? NO.
Reconditioning of the braking system? NO.
New tires? NO.
The general serviceability and safety of your vehicle, HELL NO!
You decided that the more sound, the biggest amp, the largest speakers, sub-sub woofers, tweeters that are so high end they tweet themselves on Twitter, there isn’t a nook and cranny that you have not found to fit another component to make more sound emit from this vehicle, and to what end…..??? I will tell you to what end, its overcompensation, you have a tiny penis, you can’t afford a Ferrari, so the next best thing is pimp your sound system so you can pick up chicks, cause the louder the sound, the less likely they will be to notice you have no dick, and we know how sound just makes them weak at the knees and swoon, fall at the foot of your cheep front spoiler, begging for your cockless wonder…..
It’s so freaking obvious you have no dick that even Nissan are using it in their marketing on TV to sell you their new pickup.
The Ferrari doesn’t pick up women, those are called whores, and they will come to any car for enough currency, and this comic book existence will never give you a penis enlargement. So try clean up your car, make it safe for her to be in, show a little respect and consideration, and she won’t care how big you are, but just that you are a real man, and for the love of God, turn it down, you don’t want to be deaf like the rest of your wannabe friends, at 40, a hearing aid isn’t cool, and won’t get you laid either.

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