I was once told, "If you want loyalty, get a dog" I have a dog, and there are but a few who measure up, and that is the shame of it all. As a species we don't measure by even a dogs standards, it seems we have become so self absorbed and self promotionally greedy that it matter not who, or what we trample to get our own way or get slightly ahead of the next. It's no wonder we find ourselves in perpetual conflict, as people, races, religions and regions. I watch my tv and I see ads where children tell adults to stop worrying about them and worry more about their children having a future, and it's obscene on so many levels I feel my head exploding, and if I need to explain why that's obscene on so many levels then we are truly lost. I guess I'm melancholy because of yesterdays news that Robin Williams took his own life. I suffer depression as do many people, and if a man like Robin Williams, with all the wealth at his disposal can't get help, then what hope is there for the rest of us. I don't know his circumstances and I don't pretend to know or understand his demons, but the tragedy of his passing speaks to us more about us than him. I am just left wondering where were the people around him? the people surrounding him? Maybe all the fame and wealth left him isolated, and alone? Perhaps he should have gotten a house full of dogs.
I been thinking about change this morning, and the old cliche comes to mind, "the only constant in life is change" and I think it probably is true, but I wonder if it is also true about the very essence of you, can you change after all you have seen, experienced and lived through, this sets patterns in your life, and I wonder if therapy could even change those ingrained patterns. Of course I will admit that all those things cause your growth, and that in essence is change, but after years of that growth there is a whole bunch of things that cause you to act, react, and feel, and that forms patterns of behaviour and I wonder if this can ever be truly changed or worst case scenario modified? All that, got me thinking about just what I let into my life, and how those things are going to change how I act, and worst of all, will I repeat the errors I made before in the handling of these things because I haven't actually changed at all. The truth for me I'm afraid is dark,